Sample IELTS Writing Evaluation

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Sample Evaluation - This is what your results will look like

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Your essay attempts to address the prompt about schools teaching good behavior, and you express a clear position of agreement.

However, the development is limited and lacks precision. According to Band 5 descriptors, 'Some main ideas are put forward, but they are limited and are not sufficiently developed.' Your main ideas about Japanese schools and parents' time constraints are mentioned but not adequately explained or supported with specific details. The essay also contains repetitive statements like 'school is the place' and 'good behavior/manner' without exploring what these concepts mean or how they should be implemented. To reach Band 6, you need to develop each main idea with specific examples and explanations rather than general statements.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay shows basic organization with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, demonstrating 'organisation is evident' as per Band 5 descriptors.

However, the progression is not wholly logical, and cohesive devices are limited and sometimes inaccurate. You use basic linking words like 'To begin with,' 'Looking into more details,' and 'To sum up,' but the connections between sentences within paragraphs are often unclear. For example, 'this is the time when a child learn so many things from various way and its reflect on their behaviour' lacks clear logical connection to the previous sentence. The relationship between ideas can be followed, but sentences are not fluently linked. To reach Band 6, you need to use more varied cohesive devices and ensure clearer logical connections between sentences.

Lexical Resource

Your vocabulary is limited but minimally adequate for the task, fitting Band 5 descriptors: 'The resource is limited but minimally adequate for the task.' You repeat basic words like 'school,' 'children,' 'students,' 'teacher,' and 'good behavior/manner' throughout without variation.

There are frequent errors in word choice and spelling: 'piller' (pillar), 'aquire' (acquire), 'express to their way of response' (unclear meaning), 'well manner' (good manners), 'look forward their children' (look after). Simple vocabulary is used, but the range does not permit much variation in expression. To reach Band 6, you need to use more precise vocabulary with fewer errors: replace 'good behavior' with 'ethical conduct,' 'social skills,' or 'moral values,' and use synonyms to avoid repetition.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Your essay demonstrates Band 5 grammar: 'The range of structures is limited and rather repetitive.' You attempt some complex sentences, but they contain frequent errors that sometimes impede understanding.

Major errors include: 'School is the piller of every students' (subject-verb agreement), 'where a children can learn' (article error), 'a child spend' (agreement), 'school provide teach' (verb form), 'as it can be express' (passive voice error), 'parents can not get enough time to look forward their children' (phrasal verb error), 'teacher has been played' (tense error), 'children are really obey' (verb form). Punctuation is also problematic with run-on sentences and missing commas. To reach Band 6, you need to improve accuracy in basic structures before attempting more complex ones, focusing particularly on subject-verb agreement, article usage, and verb forms.

Comments

Key Strengths

Your essay successfully takes a clear position by strongly agreeing that schools should teach good behavior, which directly addresses the task requirement. You demonstrate awareness of essay structure by including an introduction that states your position, body paragraphs that attempt to support your view, and a conclusion that summarizes your stance. Your attempt to use a specific example (Japanese schools) shows you understand the value of supporting general claims with concrete references, which is an important skill for IELTS Task 2 writing.

Detailed Feedback

Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task by taking a definite position on whether schools should teach good behavior, and you attempt to support this with examples like Japanese schools. Your organizational structure shows awareness of essay format with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which indicates you understand basic IELTS requirements. These are positive foundations to build upon.

Your essay is 246 words, which falls just short of the 250-word minimum requirement. While this is close, it limits your ability to fully develop arguments with the specific details and examples needed for higher band scores. More significantly, your essay faces several challenges that currently place it at Band 5.0 across all criteria. The main issues are: (1) limited vocabulary range with frequent repetition of basic words like 'school,' 'children,' and 'good behavior' without variation or precision; (2) numerous grammatical errors that impede communication, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('a child spend,' 'school provide teach'), articles ('a children'), and verb forms ('has been played,' 'are really obey'); and (3) underdeveloped ideas that lack specific supporting details—for example, you mention Japanese schools but don't explain what specific behaviors they teach or how this creates a 'healthy nation.' To reach Band 6, focus on three priorities: First, expand your vocabulary by using synonyms and more precise terms ('ethical conduct' instead of 'good behavior,' 'moral values' instead of 'good manner'). Second, improve grammatical accuracy by reviewing subject-verb agreement and article usage patterns. Third, develop each main idea with specific examples and explanations rather than general statements.

You're showing clear potential with your ability to take a position and organize your thoughts. With focused practice on expanding your vocabulary range, improving grammatical accuracy in basic structures, and developing ideas with specific supporting details, you can reach Band 6 and beyond. The foundation is there—now it's about refining your language control and depth of development.

Suggestions for Improvement

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Change "School is the piller of every students... where a children can learn... a child spend their childhood time... school provide teach to their students... teacher has been played the role" to "School is the pillar of every student's life... where children can learn... a child spends their childhood time... schools provide teaching to their students... teachers have played the role"

Correct subject-verb agreement is fundamental for Band 6. Singular subjects need singular verbs ('child spends' not 'child spend'), and plural subjects need plural verbs ('schools provide' not 'school provide'). This pattern of errors currently limits your grammatical accuracy score.

Lexical Resource

Change "School is the place... schools have the obligation... school provide teach... school teacher... school have the responsibility... good behavior... good manner" to "Educational institutions serve as environments... schools have the obligation... institutions provide instruction... educators... schools must fulfill the responsibility... ethical conduct... social etiquette and moral values"

Using varied vocabulary demonstrates lexical range essential for Band 6. Replace repeated words with appropriate synonyms: 'school' → 'educational institution/academy,' 'good behavior' → 'ethical conduct/social skills/moral values,' 'teacher' → 'educator/instructor.' This shows flexibility and precision in word choice.

Task Response

Change "most of the Japanese school teaching their students well manner thus they become able to make a healthy nation for their future generation." to "Many Japanese schools incorporate character education into their curriculum by teaching students specific values such as respect (through bowing customs), responsibility (through classroom cleaning duties), and punctuality (through strict adherence to schedules). These practices have contributed to Japan's low crime rates and high social cohesion, demonstrating how school-based behavioral education can positively impact society."

Developing ideas with specific details is essential for Band 6 Task Response. Instead of vague claims about 'healthy nation,' explain exactly what behaviors are taught and how they contribute to specific outcomes.

Your Action Plan

#1 Focus on Grammatical Range & Accuracy. Your essay contains frequent errors that impede communication and limit your score to Band 5. Before: 'School is the piller of every students in their entire life where a children can learn so many things from their beloved teacher.' After: 'School is the pillar of every student's life, where children can learn many things from their teachers.' This correction addresses subject-verb agreement ('students' → 'student's'), article errors ('a children' → 'children'), and removes redundancy, demonstrating better grammatical control needed for Band 6.

#2 Work on Lexical Resource by reducing repetition and using more precise vocabulary. Before: 'school have the responsibility to teach their students good manner' and 'schools have the obligation to teach children good behavior.' After: 'Educational institutions should instill ethical values in students' and 'schools have the obligation to develop children's social conduct.' This shows vocabulary range and avoids repeating 'school,' 'teach,' and 'good behavior/manner,' which is essential for moving from Band 5 to Band 6.

#3 Address Task Response by developing ideas with specific details and examples. Before: 'most of the Japanese school teaching their students well manner thus they become able to make a healthy nation for their future generation.' After: 'Many Japanese schools teach students specific behaviors such as respect for elders, punctuality, and cleanliness. For instance, students clean their own classrooms daily, which instills responsibility and community awareness. These practices contribute to Japan's reputation for social harmony and civic responsibility.' This provides the specific development and supporting detail required for Band 6 Task Response.

Your Personalised Learning Plan

Coach Jo's recommendations for you

I've created a learning path with 3 learning modules and 1 essay practice module just for you:

Plural Subject-Verb Agreement

14 mins S001

Master plural subject-verb agreement to eliminate 20% of grammar errors. Learn the simple rules for do/does, have/has, and are/is.

My recommendation: Improve your agreement skills

Lexical Variety: Stop Repeating, Start Impressing

36 mins V004

Master lexical variety techniques to eliminate word repetition and demonstrate the vocabulary sophistication that examiners reward with Band 6+ Lexical Resource scores.

My recommendation: Improve your repetition skills

Specific vs Generic Examples

59 mins ID004

Transform generic examples into specific, detailed examples using the 6-dimension framework (WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, WHY, HOW). Add concrete details to support arguments.

My recommendation: Improve your examples skills

Submit Essay

45 mins TE001

Practice writing complete IELTS Task 2 essays on varied topics. Build confidence and improve band score through regular essay submission and AI feedback.

My recommendation: Regular essay practice helps you apply and reinforce the skills learned in your modules. Complete this after finishing your assigned learning modules.

Your Essay

TE001 - 27/12/2025 (246 words)

Prompt: It is the responsibility of schools to teach children good behaviour in addition to provide formal education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

School is the piller of every students in their entire life where a children can learn so many things from their beloved teacher. According to this essay, schools have the obligation to teach children good behavior in addition to giving formal education. I strongly agree with this notion and my opinion will be discussed in further paragraph with a suitable conclusion. To begin with, School is the place where a child spend their childhood time to aquire knowledge moreover, this is the time when a child learn so many things from various way and its reflect on their behaviour. If school provide teach to their students good behavior as it can be express to their way of response. To illustrate, most of the Japanese school teaching their students well manner thus they become able to make a healthy nation for their future generation. Looking into more details, parents can not get enough time to look forward their children as they have their own work or job. Furthermore, school teacher has been played the role of guardian for every students and children are really obey to their teacher. Besides, a teacher has the capability to teach their students good manner. To sum up, education is the backbone of a nation.Being Educated is not only mean Certified from a famous organisation, but also be a good human.So, school have the responsibility to teach their students good manner. I believe that aforementioned points are strongly supporting my view point.

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