Band 6 IELTS Sample Essay: Overtourism Cultural Heritage
Reading time: 1 minutes
The Prompt
Popular tourist destinations are increasingly struggling with the effects of mass tourism on local communities and historic sites. What problems does overtourism cause, and what steps could be taken to manage it more sustainably?
The Essay
Nowadays, many famous places around the world are facing serious problems because too many tourists visit them every year. This essay will discuss the main problems caused by overtourism and suggest some possible solutions to manage it in a better way.
Firstly, overtourism can cause a lot of damage to local communities and historic sites. When too many people visit a place, the streets become very crowded and local residents find it difficult to go about their daily lives. Moreover, historic buildings and natural areas can be damaged because of the large number of visitors. For example, it is well known that some ancient monuments have been seriously harmed by millions of tourists walking on them every year. In addition, the cost of living in popular tourist areas often goes up, which means that local people sometimes cannot afford to stay in their own neighborhoods.
Secondly, there are several steps that governments and tourism authorities can take to deal with this problem. One important solution is to limit the number of tourists who are allowed to visit certain places at the same time. Furthermore, authorities should encourage visitors to go to less famous destinations instead, which would help to spread the tourists more equally. Another idea is to make tourists pay a higher entrance fee, so that the money can be used to protect and repair historic sites and make a research into better ways to manage tourism.
In conclusion, overtourism is a very much important issue that needs to be addressed urgently. If governments and communities work together and do an effort to control the number of visitors, popular destinations can be protected for future generations.
Why This Scored Band 6
Task Achievement: 6.5
Your essay addresses both parts of the prompt appropriately, discussing problems caused by overtourism and suggesting solutions. You present a clear position that is directly relevant to the task. The main ideas are relevant - damage to communities and historic sites, rising costs, and solutions like visitor limits and entrance fees. However, your development lacks the precision and depth required for Band 7. The Band 6 descriptor notes that 'main ideas are relevant, but some may be insufficiently developed,' which applies here. For example, 'local residents find it difficult to go about their daily lives' needs specific explanation of what difficulties they face. Your conclusion statement 'overtourism is a very much important issue' shows engagement but lacks the sophisticated summary of arguments expected at Band 7, where ideas should be 'extended and supported' with more specific detail.
Coherence and Cohesion: 7
Your essay demonstrates clear overall progression and logical organization that aligns with Band 7 requirements. The four-paragraph structure (introduction, two body paragraphs, conclusion) is appropriate, and information flows coherently from problems to solutions. You use cohesive devices effectively: 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' and 'In conclusion.' The Band 7 descriptor states that 'information and ideas are logically organised, and there is a clear progression throughout the response,' which your essay achieves. However, there is some mechanical quality to your linking - 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' are functional but predictable. The reference and substitution could be more sophisticated; you repeat 'tourists' and 'tourism' frequently rather than using varied referencing. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate problems from solutions, supporting overall coherence.
Lexical Resource: 6
Your vocabulary is generally adequate and appropriate for the task, fitting the Band 6 descriptor: 'The resource is generally adequate and appropriate for the task.' You use topic-specific vocabulary like 'overtourism,' 'historic sites,' 'local communities,' and 'tourism authorities.' However, your range is limited by repetition and some awkward collocations. You repeat 'tourists' six times and 'visit/visitors' five times without variation. The phrase 'do an effort' is incorrect (should be 'make an effort'), and 'very much important' is unnatural word order. 'Make a research' should be 'conduct research.' These errors in word formation and collocation prevent you from reaching Band 7, which requires 'some ability to use less common and/or idiomatic items' with 'an awareness of style and collocation.' Your meaning remains clear despite these issues, but more precise vocabulary choices would strengthen your score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with generally good control, placing you between Band 6 and Band 7. Complex structures include: 'When too many people visit a place, the streets become very crowded' (adverbial clause), 'which means that local people sometimes cannot afford to stay' (relative clause), and 'so that the money can be used to protect and repair' (purpose clause). These show your ability to construct varied sentence types. However, several errors limit your score: 'very much important' (word order error), 'do an effort' (verb collocation error), and 'make a research' (article/collocation error). The Band 7 descriptor requires that 'grammar and punctuation are generally well controlled, and error-free sentences are frequent.' While many of your sentences are error-free, these noticeable mistakes prevent full Band 7 achievement. Your punctuation is generally accurate throughout.
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