Band 6 IELTS Sample Essay: Home Ownership and Housing
Reading time: 1 minutes
The Prompt
In many countries, owning a home rather than renting is seen as very important. Why might this be the case, and is this attitude a positive or negative development for society?
The Essay
In many parts of the world, people believe that buying a home is much better than renting one. There are several reasons why this attitude is common, and in my opinion, it has both positive and negative effects on society.
Firstly, owning a home gives people a sense of security and stability. When someone owns their house, they do not have to worry about a landlord asking them to leave or increasing the rent. Moreover, many people see a house as an investment. It is well known that property prices usually go up over time, so buying a home can help people save money for the future. For these reasons, home ownership is considered very important in many cultures.
Secondly, this attitude can have some positive effects on society. Homeowners tend to take more care of their properties and their local area, which can make communities stronger. In addition, owning a home gives families a feeling of belonging and permanence. However, this attitude also has negative sides. When too many people want to buy homes, the prices of houses can rise very quickly, making it very difficult for younger people or those with low incomes to afford a property. This can create a big gap between those who own homes and those who cannot.
In conclusion, the preference for home ownership comes from the desire for security and financial benefit. While this attitude can bring some benefits to communities, it can also cause problems such as high house prices and inequality. I think governments should do an effort to make housing more affordable for everyone.
Why This Scored Band 6
Task Achievement: 6.5
Your essay addresses both parts of the prompt appropriately - explaining why home ownership is valued and evaluating whether this is positive or negative. You present a clear position that acknowledges both benefits and drawbacks, which aligns with Band 6.5-7 requirements. However, your argument development lacks the depth and precision needed for Band 7. The statement 'It is well known that property prices usually go up over time' is overgeneralized without acknowledging market fluctuations or regional variations. Your discussion of negative effects mentions 'high house prices and inequality' but doesn't fully explore the societal implications or provide specific supporting detail. To reach Band 7, you need to develop your main ideas with more specific, relevant examples rather than general statements.
Coherence and Cohesion: 7
Your essay demonstrates clear overall progression with logical paragraph organization. The four-paragraph structure (introduction, two body paragraphs, conclusion) is appropriate and each paragraph has a clear central topic. You use cohesive devices effectively: 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' to sequence ideas, 'Moreover' and 'In addition' to add information, and 'However' to introduce contrasting points. This shows Band 7 ability to organize information logically. However, some cohesive device use is slightly mechanical - 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' at paragraph starts is functional but predictable. The transition between discussing positive effects and negative effects within the third paragraph ('However, this attitude also has negative sides') works but could be more sophisticated. Your paragraphing is generally effective, supporting overall coherence as required for Band 7.
Lexical Resource: 6.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate and appropriate for the task, demonstrating Band 6.5 range. You use some less common items effectively: 'sense of security and stability,' 'investment,' 'permanence,' and 'inequality.' However, there are noticeable errors that prevent a Band 7 score. The phrase 'do an effort' is incorrect - the proper collocation is 'make an effort.' You also show some repetition with basic vocabulary: 'people' appears frequently without variation (individuals, residents, citizens). The phrase 'very important' and 'very difficult' uses basic intensifiers rather than more sophisticated alternatives like 'crucial' or 'extremely challenging.' Your word choice is generally clear despite these limitations, and spelling is accurate throughout. To reach Band 7, you need to demonstrate more flexibility and precision in vocabulary with fewer collocation errors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with reasonable accuracy, which aligns with Band 6.5 performance. Complex structures appear throughout: 'When someone owns their house, they do not have to worry about a landlord asking them to leave' and 'When too many people want to buy homes, the prices of houses can rise very quickly.' These demonstrate good control of subordinate clauses. However, the error 'governments should do an effort' (should be 'make an effort') is noticeable and affects accuracy. Your use of 'It is well known that property prices usually go up' shows competent use of impersonal structures. Most sentences are error-free, and punctuation is generally well controlled. To reach Band 7, you need to ensure greater accuracy in your complex structures and eliminate collocation errors while maintaining the variety you already demonstrate.
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