Band 6 IELTS Sample Essay: Government Vs Individual Environment
Reading time: 1 minutes
The Prompt
Some people argue that only governments and large companies can meaningfully address environmental problems, and that individual actions make little difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The Essay
Nowadays, many people believe that protecting the environment is only possible through the actions of governments and big companies. However, I partly disagree with this view, because I think both large organisations and ordinary people have a role to play.
Firstly, it is true that governments and large companies have more power to make big changes. For example, governments can create laws that force factories to reduce pollution, and big companies can invest money in clean energy technologies. These actions can affect millions of people at the same time, which is something that one person cannot do. Moreover, it is well known that industrial activities are responsible for most of the pollution in the world, so it makes sense that the biggest polluters should take the most responsibility.
Secondly, individual actions are also very much important and should not be ignored. When people choose to recycle, use public transport, or reduce their electricity use, this can make a research into better habits across the whole society. Furthermore, if a large number of people change their behaviour, companies are often forced to respond by offering more environmentally friendly products. In addition, governments are more likely to take action on environment problems when citizens put pressure on them through voting and protests.
In conclusion, while I agree that governments and large companies have a bigger impact on environment, I do not think individual actions are useless. Both groups need to work together to solve environmental problems, because neither one can fully succeed without the other.
Why This Scored Band 6
Task Achievement: 6.5
Your essay addresses the main parts of the prompt appropriately and presents a clear position that you 'partly disagree' with the view that only governments and companies can protect the environment. This directly responds to the 'to what extent' question format. Your main ideas are relevant - you discuss both the power of large organizations and the importance of individual actions. However, your development lacks the precision and depth required for Band 7. The Band 6 descriptor notes that 'main ideas are relevant, but some may be insufficiently developed,' which applies here. For example, your point about 'companies are often forced to respond by offering more environmentally friendly products' needs specific illustration of how consumer behavior actually drives corporate change. To reach Band 7, you need to extend ideas with more specific supporting material rather than general statements.
Coherence and Cohesion: 7
Your essay demonstrates clear overall progression and logical organization, meeting Band 7 requirements. Information flows coherently from introduction through body paragraphs to conclusion. You use cohesive devices effectively: 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' and 'In conclusion' guide the reader through your argument. Paragraphing is used appropriately with four distinct sections. The sequencing within paragraphs is generally logical - you present the power of governments/companies, then transition to individual responsibility. However, there is some mechanical quality to your linking, particularly the sequential use of 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' and 'In addition' in paragraph 3, which shows less flexibility than Band 8 would require. The Band 7 descriptor states cohesive devices are used 'flexibly but with some inaccuracies or some over/under use,' which accurately describes your performance.
Lexical Resource: 6
Your vocabulary is generally adequate and appropriate for the task, aligning with Band 6 descriptors. You demonstrate some range with phrases like 'industrial activities,' 'clean energy technologies,' and 'environmentally friendly products.' The meaning is generally clear despite some limitations. However, there are notable errors that prevent a Band 7 score. The phrase 'make a research into better habits' is incorrect - it should be 'lead to better habits' or 'encourage better habits.' The word 'research' is inappropriately used here. You also show repetition with basic vocabulary: 'big changes,' 'big companies,' 'biggest polluters' uses 'big/biggest' three times when more varied vocabulary would strengthen your writing. The Band 6 descriptor notes 'some errors in spelling and/or word formation' which applies to your lexical choices. To reach Band 7, you need to demonstrate 'some ability to use less common and/or idiomatic items' with better collocation awareness.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with reasonable control, placing you between Band 6 and Band 7. Your complex structures include: 'When people choose to recycle, use public transport, or reduce their electricity use, this can make a research into better habits' and 'if a large number of people change their behaviour, companies are often forced to respond.' These demonstrate your ability to construct subordinate clauses. However, there are grammatical errors that limit your score. The phrase 'are also very much important' is awkward - standard English would use 'are also very important' or 'are also extremely important.' The error 'make a research into' should be 'lead to' or 'result in.' Additionally, 'environment problems' should be 'environmental problems' (adjective form). Most sentences are error-free, but these errors occur in complex structures, which is characteristic of Band 6.5 where 'examples of more complex structures are not marked by the same level of accuracy as in simple structures.'
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